Tuesday, March 15, 2011

It's a Shiz 300, yo!!!

While Ryan and I were out to lunch on my birthday last week, we saw this pimped out Chrysler 300 pull up outside the restaurant.  Funny thing was, it was an old white guy in a cowboy hat that got out.  Cowboy hats are meant for trucks.  We went to Spanky's in Leesburg, VA for some awesome Buffalo Chicken nachos and fried pickles.  We make a lot of jokes about these cars and I figured it deserved a post.

Me and Ryan have a mutual dislike for pimped out Chrysler 300s.  All the things done to these cars are cliche.  You've all seen one.  The 300 with the large chrome wheels, dark tint, Bentley grilles, stupid paint and cheesy stick-on chrome trim.

Here is a "how to" guide to make a shiz 300 to pick up some bitches.
1.  Find a base 300.  Yeah, nothing screams style like a V6 Chrysler 300.
2.  Buy a fake Bentley grille on Ebay, like this.
3.  Get stupid looking wheels and stick-on chrome pieces for your doors off Ebay.

4.   Paint your dope ride an ugly color.

5.  If you want to go all out, add a set of Lambo door hinges, that can be found on, of course, Ebay.
6.  You are now ready to take your sick whip out and cruise for some honeys, like this.  Sure she wants you for your money (all $3000 you spent on Ebay), but you won't be spending the night alone in your mama's basement.

7.  This is your "OH SNAP!!!  SOMEONE JACKED MY SHIZ 300, YO!!!" face.
8.  These are the tools you can thank, with a kick to the sack, for causing this phenomenon.